The Widjajas Thoughts

2011-12-06T18:45:00.001-05:00

Okayyyy....... so, it is Christmas time and I somehow have found myself in
one of those years where I.just.can't.quite. get.into. it.
Bleh.

Granted, I did decorate. A teensy eensy bit. The tree, however, just stands there.
Up and has lights strewn around it. And... Michael was the one who did all that!
But that's where it ends. I have tried
to motivate myself to get into the spirit of things. C'mas music. Baking
(an easy but festive cookie-- magic cookie bars.... but alas, I'm missing
the M-A-G-I-C!).

I haven't even begun shopping. Don't feel like spending the money for
one thing. Don't want to deal with the crowds, fighting for a parking
space, etc.

Oh well, maybe this will pass soon enough before it's too late.

December 06,2011

AJ's 1st Day of Pre-K school

2011-12-06T18:24:00.000-05:00

I let the actual day come and go but I can remember it like it happened today.

August 17, 2011. Wednesday. Even AJ recited it continually beforehand, he was so excited!!

So..... the day arrived. A milestone indeed.
We had prepared him the night before by setting out his clothes, his backpack
(of course every kid has to have one!) etc.

I wanted to be the one to take him his first day; it was like a rite of passage,
an initiation into the next

big stage of lifes' events.

We had to make sure we got there by 8am as we only had a 15 minute window before

he would be registered as tardy. Unacceptable. So we arrived in plenty of time and got into the
car line-up; there were two lines side by side. When the time came for the teachers to take AJ
from the car to the door and we drove out of the parking lot, Kaiya uttered what I felt ----
"I'm sad." I could feel a sudden slight burn of tears but they didn't quite make their exit.
My voice quaked a bit as I attempted to assure Kaiya that it will be okay and that "you &
mommy will go have some fun today, just the two of us!".

But it wasn't the huge momentous event that so many before us seem to proclaim that it is
such a bittersweet juncture to cross.
Yes. I realized my 1st born was now a full-fledged preschooler and this was indeed a new
chapter being embarked upon.
Yes. I will now only have Kaiya for half the day.
Yes. I will miss out on some of the crucial learning points in my son's life.
But it is also the
beginning of letting go....

Letting go.... of him being as dependent on me for every single thing.

Letting go.... of being the one
who teaches him every thing he knows; that there are others who have a different
approach that will give him another angle to look at and learn about the world around him.

And (this one hitting a raw and tender nerve) letting go..... of the need to control him and everything
around him. It was A-OK. I didn't experience the withdrawal I was somewhat expecting.
Maybe mentally and emotionally I was prepared by this point and his age in life. I got
through this and it was alright. :)

Now..... for the next hurdle --- elementary school? teen years? girlfriends? or something
I can't imagine what???................... only time will tell.

December 06,2011

A new era

2011-08-16T16:49:00.008-04:00

It has been too long since I posted on here but just wanted to record a precious crossing of a threshold into a new and exciting chapter. That of AJ entering the lofty and yet at times, turbulent era--- the school years. I perceive (and confess) he is more ready for this next stage than I am.

Lately I've been pondering and finding myself wistful of the "baby" days with this oldest child of mine and more than a little reluctant to "let go" of my son being so dependent on me. Paradoxically don't get me wrong, I also relish this ever-growing independence of him showing so much growth in many aspects of his mental,emotional, spiritual, and physical state. For example, if I tell him I do not want him to touch something like safety pins because the sharp pin could prick him thus hurting him and bleed, he will see the reason in that and steer clear of messing with them due to the now realized danger they present. Another side that shows more depth spiritually than I would imagine for a 4 year old kid, is a particular conversation that unfolded in the car one time. We had discussed briefly in kid terms what the government was and he casually asked "is Jesus the government?" I thought at the time, wow, this kid is incredibly perceptive! I mean, it wasn't a very complicated question but yet from his young understanding, he shot the bullet right on target.

So back to the original content.... We (Michael & I) had our first parent teacher "meeting" or orientation on Monday, August 15th for getting AJ engrafted into school. He will be going to a private school that has the GA pre-K program in which he is enrolled (FREE!). The school--

The Wise Owl Academy. It is located just 10-12 minutes away and on the way for Michael when he commutes to work each morning so it is perfect for him to drop AJ off and a relief for me as I don't have to haul myself and the kids so damn early in the morning as he must be at school no later than 8:15am or it is documented as a tardy. Too many of those (read: more than 2 a month) places us in jeopardy of remaining in the program. Yikes! Can't have that happening!

He will be at school for 6.5 hours a day 5 days each week. He is plunging full force from nothing to full time school. Crazy? Yes, maybe more than a little and has me wondering if he and I plus his sister who requires his companionship on a day-to-day basis will be able to adjust quickly to this new change. He is uber-excited about finally being able to get the opportunity to go to school. Hope this is not a short lived emotion as once over this threshold, not easily rescinded.

We shall see........ He starts TOMORROW!!! I cannot believe this day is here but indeed it is!

August 16,2011

Precious moment

2009-06-03T09:36:00.003-04:00

Last night was a slightly different night for us. Usually around 8pm, we put the kids down and we started watching TV but we went upstairs then two of us just laying on the floor and have the kids playing with whatever they want; mainly keyboard.

Not much of anything for both of us but watching two of our kids. AJ was being silly; Kaiya was keep trying to stand up by herself. However, somehow I was paying so much detail to our kids; how much they grew up. That moment stroke me; I was really happy.

My wife...

2009-03-05T11:09:00.003-05:00

First of all I want to say thank you to her for being a such wonderful wife and sorry for not mentioning it often enough. Yes, I have been paying attention to her lately; she has been doing such a great great jobs. May be I am being a jerk not mentioning enough to her.

Fusion growth group

2009-02-26T00:42:00.012-05:00

We went to the growth group for the second time last week today and i'm just now posting this finally when i composed most of it that night! Oh well, better late than never. It was good and i feel i'm beginning to like it a bit more since it has downsized to a more intimate size since we went the first time. Our discussion circled around the current topic of Whispers --- how to hear from God. It was a good teaching, i swear, and i got a lot out of it, but somehow my brain was operating on fuzzy and could not cajole answers to the questions put to the group as much as i willed myself to. I know i have a wealth of information to convey to enrich the group but try as i might, i could only answer a few of the questions. But i liked hearing other peoples' insight and answers. Some of the questions were:

Getting good advice from godly friends & family. a) what is the worst advice you've ever been given? [did you take the advice?] b) what is the worst you have given?
Do you think God really wants to talk to you? [Why or Why not?]

3. According to II Timothy 3:16,
[All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness] God uses the bible to speak to us in 4 different ways. How does God use the bible to do each of these things?

4. God speaks to us through impressions from the Holy Spirit. What does that mean? Have you ever experienced receiving an *impression* from the Holy Spirit?

5. How can we be sure that the impressions are from God and not just our imaginations or maybe even confusion from the enemy?

6. God speaks to us through [godly] (paraphrase mine) friends & family. Who do YOU have in your life that has permission to "get in your face"?

7. " Stupid people always think they are right. Wise people listen to advice" -Proverbs 12:15

Was there a time in your life that you were "stupid" and should have listened to the Bible, the advice of others, or the Holy Spirit and did not? What did you learn from it? Has it changed the way you make decisions?

What about a time you were "wise" and listened and did what God wanted? How did you feel? How did it affect your life? ---- this one is easier to find an answer to than previous question as nobody likes to think they were "stupid" or a "fool".

These are all really thought-provoking questions that evaluate the deeper recesses of our motives, mind and "the small voice deep down" that guides us on our everyday journey to see if we really will sit up & listen.

This song sums up my love for my darling hubby

2009-02-23T10:23:00.019-05:00

I'm listening to a recent song from Amy Grant and this song really speaks volumes and puts almost all I feel about the Love of my life in a nutshell:

"Looking For You"

I've waited so long now

I've wanted forever to hold you

Now you're in my arms and I'll never let you go

Whatever you do you know

I'll be standing here beside you baby

Just like a bird that's found its way back home

I finally found a place where I belong

I've been looking for you since I took my first breath

And I'll be loving you baby till I take my last

I'd like to know

What would I do without you in my life

From the moment I saw you I knew

I was looking for you

Can I wake up now

Can I believe what I'm feeling

Can I be sure I wasn't dreaming at all

Baby it's true you do

Something supernatural to me

Each night I pray to God that you'll be blessed

I need you so much baby I confess

All along I was waiting for you

From the moment I saw you I knew

It had to be you

So the story goes

Together ever after

Another dream came true

And maybe when you least expect it love will come to you

up for the day :D

2009-02-23T08:23:00.004-05:00

So, here i am....... again. I got maybe like 4 hours of sleep at the most but somehow not feeling too tired ----- at the moment :) and maybe i'm just overly excited to get rolling with the blog thing! I really LOVE writing (can you tell ;-P) and have such a bevy of words all jumbled in my head just waiting to tumble out at will! Right now have to go get AJ out of bed and go through the usual routine: change his soaked diaper, maybe give him a bath and give him susu (milk) and cereal. He finally can feed himself with utensils without too much mess of which i'm happy. Kaiya is still asleep, i think. She usually is just quietly awake and taking in her surroundings at this hour and gives her fatigued mama a bit of a breather for a minute. I actually need to fix myself breakfast; you know, i'm trying to keep a habit of having a decent breakfast so it is easier to regulate my diet and lose more of the baby weight. These things take time and that goes without saying but maybe i just needed to reassure myself. Anyway, my computer is kind of slow; did not realize it was on standby with windows that were open from a few days ago so in order to avoid a funky number my computer may play on me, i will need to reboot.

too late.... or too early?

2009-02-23T02:06:00.000-05:00

well here it is, 2am and i just can't fall asleep. I got myself all in a tizzy trying to figure out how to link this blog to facebook so i can let you wonderful people into the everyday world that is the Widjaja's => well, apparently time was not about to stop or droll on ever so slow-mo so here it is so late or early (whichever way you look at it) and i'm thinking i'm really not going to be worth my mete in energy when the daylight arrives and i need to step up to the task plate. I've been telling myself that i want to get a shoulder to the wheel with this whole 'blog movement' and this year is still young so hopefully i can be somewhat consistent and i can start a new tradition; or rather an old one (for i have written off & on over the years, just not publicly) just evolving into a new venue.Well, good nite all nighty owls and will continue another day!

Snowboarding

2009-01-13T14:54:00.000-05:00

It's been part of my life since my great friend, Ottis introduced that to me. Thanks to him. Snowboard to me it's not about showing off, not about trend but about freedom, great feeling of myself. Every time when I snowboard, I could just put everything behind me. I could care less about anything else.

Especially when I was in the real mountain like Rockies; I feel like I was a few fortunate ones who could see all that views that others can only see on the magazine or TV.

I know for sure that I cannot stand people that went out there a few times and they bragged about it like, "Oh yeah, I can do 360 now or I went to the double diamond". Like everything else, if you're an expert usually your action is louder that your word not the other way around.

Advice for people who want to try, yes it hurts when you fall. It hurts your butt, ankle, wrist, etc. No exception, everyone who wants to learn has to go thru that steps but the reward at the end is great. And yes it's cold so invest on good clothing so you can concentrate on snowboarding not the temperature. And yes it's expensive, and my advice is spend your money on good clothing and gears so it last forever instead of the cheap stuff and later you realize you need a better ones.

American-ized

2009-01-13T14:34:00.000-05:00

Is is a bad thing or a good thing? I have been thinking about it lately. Some of my friend told me that I am Americanized now even I remember my mom told me a few times "You are too Americanized, you don't understand..."

For me, it could be a bad thing and a good thing. Every culture out there has a bad and good side of it. Asian culture where I grew up, family is valued highly; social gathering happens at least once a month compare to American that usually gather on holidays. Social gathering could be both positive and negative. The negative part is gossips, being materialistic by comparing yourself to your families or friends. Being American, yes that still happens but some people like me tend to have I don't care mentality. That person can have BMW or Lexus, I don't really give a damn.

I like being Americanized although I have to admit that I miss my own culture or even just to hang out with my friends. One thing I know for sure, you cannot forget your own culture or even your mother tongue. I knew some people that lived in US for 10 years and they said I forgot my own language. Heck, arrogant that is, I have been here almost twice that long and still able to speak my first language fluently consider I speak English everyday now.

Food that I grew up with

2009-01-06T11:19:00.001-05:00

Lately I have been missing some of the food that I grew up with. Most may not even have a great taste, some people might think it's nasty but I grew up with those foods and lately I really missed it.

There is this food called karedok, it is easy enough to make if you have all the ingredients basically like a salad mixed with peanut sauce, sound easy right? but it has some ingredients that I dont even know the English word for it.

Or lemper, my mom has the best recipe for it, I am not saying it because she is my mom but everybody that had one said the same thing. Unfortunately, the recipe died when she died. No one knows how to make it.

And rujak bebek, oh yeah, this nasty fruit salad that is sold by street vendor. Nothing about it is hygenic. It smells because it uses shrimp paste (if you ever smell one of this, you know what I am talking about) and it's really dirty the way they make it but somehow I love it.

Last but not least it's called "sagu rangi". It hard enough to find one back home; this is one of the food that might extinct pretty soon. It's made from "sagu" (type of flour), coconut and palm sugar. Somehow I like the one that has gooey sauce.

Is he/she your true friend?

2008-12-17T10:15:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I am amazed how people changed through out the year, I am included. Once you thought he/she is a good friend might turn otherwise. So how am I define a true good friend? Just based on my experiences, time is playing an important role. It's easy to think that you have a lot of good friends when you share the same interest and live close by. The relationship between you and your friends most likely turn sour if you live long distance or hardly keep in touch or has totally different interest. 95% true but there is that 5% who I like to call my true good friends. These people will still help you, care about you, and welcome you anytime. These are the ones that you want to hold them dear, these are the ones that you consider as your family, these are the ones that you're willing to take a bullet for. I am lucky to be able to identify these 5% and thank you for that.

My church is my family foundation

2008-12-15T10:15:00.000-05:00

I grew up in Catholic family. We always go to the church every Sunday as family; even after I came to US, I always went to the church every Sunday. Well, honestly not every single Sunday but I tried to go whenever possible. Then I met my wife, I switched and go to her church. Personally, I never have problem with it; for me God and Jesus both in Catholic and Christian are the same.

Everything went well then we moved to Georgia, bought a house and found this church called Fusion church. We went to this church and cannot believed how nice people are. I started to volunteer, all these people make us feel like their own family. Aside from the people, now I started to feel that this church is my family foundation. I want all my kids grew up with this church.

The worship is great, pastor Tony is funny guy with a great sermon. I was like WOW, I thank God that He directs us to the right people, His people. How do I know this church is great beside all the things I said above? Before when I have to wake up so early to do something even when someone is paying me, sometimes I feel dragged. Now when I volunteer and have to wake up so early on Sunday, I actually look forward to do it.

For people that live in Suwanee or Buford area, all I can say is give this church a try.

My wife and Christmas

2008-12-15T08:36:00.000-05:00

When I grew up my family celebrated Christmas every year but it's always involved buying a lot of gifts and not spending a lot of time. I am truly blessed to have my wife and I know for sure that my children will have a very wonderful Christmas every single year with their mom around. She goes all out of Christmas, not buying stuff. She could used all the stuff we have available and make it a nice decorations. She baked great cookies. If you lucky to know her and nice enough to her, she might share some with you. Some of these cookies she makes are not easy to make but they are great.

With the economy like this, both of us decided not to spend a lot this Christmas. I was thinking, oh well, it's not going to be a lot of Christmas feelings but my wife surprised me. She could make our house feels like having a very warm Christmas feeling. I keep thinking back to my kids, yes they are very lucky to have mom like that.

Christmas spirits or Ohio spirits?

2008-12-03T09:05:00.000-05:00

I can't believe Xmas approaching really fast. This would be the second Xmas for my son; unbelievable. It seems like I just moved to Georgia not too long ago. Now I have a son and a daughter. I am really thankful to God that everything in my life works great. Yes there were some few bumps on the road but who doesn't. Since I married my beautiful wife, everything changes direction; great direction. I am blessed to have her. She knows how to manage money, kids, and me of course :) Last but not least, I still have my job. I cannot complain about this since I read a lot on the news how a lot of people lost their job.

I am so looking forward to go to Ohio for Xmas. A lot of people asked me? Why? It's cold up there, nothing to see or to go to. For me Ohio is not about going to see something, Atlanta has that, if I want to go see something. Ohio is a special place for me, not just the Buckeyes but it's the place where I technically grew up as a man. I found my beautiful wife in Ohio, I learned everything in Ohio, I had my first job in Ohio, I found a lot of great people that are still my friends in Ohio. I don't expect anyone to understand that including my dear wife.

Just to add something

2008-11-12T17:44:00.000-05:00

Ok, so today i decided to have a playdate and it went well despite the squealing of protests from the kids that all seemed to want the same thing! Also, the other kids' mama brought a gate that is only meant for traditional type staircases of which she and i do not have so it really does not fit too well and if the kids are smart enough (and they are) they just push it down and climb over it to continue on their quest upstairs. But fortunately, it worked as a deterrent and the kids didn't show much interest in going upstairs. AJ bypassed his usual naptime and ended up falling asleep in the latter part of the day but woke up crying which is what always happens when he is not in his usual timeframe. Kaiya seems to need lots more attention than seems the norm for an infant but maybe i just easily forget just how much i need to attend to a newborn. She needs to be held almost all the time and senses when she is put down by herself and will fuss and cry til someone picks her up and holds her. AJ feels sidelined with most attention being directed towards his sis so Michael and I try to double our efforts to make him feel just as important & special. I know eventually we will find a happy medium but right now it's a bit rough.

World of blogger

2008-11-06T16:29:00.000-05:00

Finally I get in to the blogging thing today but I am still testing this out.